Post Retirement Plans- A Gift for your Dad!

Yes, you heard me right, I am talking about post retirement plans.... for our working parents who have retired recently or are about to retire soon. Post retirement phase begins with relaxation, abundance of time, and all monetary cash-ins. While it’s good to have money in your hand after a lifetime of non stop hard work, it’s not very good to suddenly have so much time in hand. One day you are working 9-10 hrs and the next day, you have the whole day to yourself and you realize this is how it is going to be. For our parents generation, this is not a very welcome way to be, at least it was not so for my Dad. He is someone who dedicated 14-15 hrs a day to his work, sometimes more, he loved his job and held a commanding position in office at the time of his retirement. The main focus of his day used to be his work, the stress around it. Although he welcomed the stress free life with no timelines and no long nights at the office, no numbers to crunch and balance sheets to be filed, he found the free time too much to handle. I think it’s similar with most of his contemporaries. 

I perceived this as a problem when he started saying stuff like, I am no longer the earning member of the family, I am no longer wanted by anyone and so on. This is a common abandonment symptom you can see in retired folks who used to be super busy at work. Dad worked till 65 yrs of age, his company gave him an extension because they simply could not have managed without him at that point. After this when he retired, we had a tough time keeping him busy and re-enforcing the fact that he is everything we need, because it was just not enough. I think the fact that only he was free and the rest of us had to continue with our daily chores like my office and my Mom’s household chores and her business, was having the most impact. 

I used to tell him, this is the moment you have waited your whole life. You can do whatever you want to do and not compromise on the time. I tried to ignite his interests. We tried so many things but I could not find anything that held his interest for much longer in the beginning. When ever he said things like, I used to love doing this when I was your age, or he showed interest in anything, I used to order those supplies from Amazon. At one point, he was scared to say anything to me 😀. Finally the hobbies that stuck out were music, baking, gardening and travelling. Well, travelling is an occasional thing. But now cooking and baking has become his absolute new found love. He loves to try out new dishes, searches the recipes and methods on YouTube and prepare them for me, his little girl. Thank God I am a food enthusiast, 😉. He finds absolute joy in feeding me, and my feedback on the taste and texture of the baked items. I should tell you he is a perfectionist and the food tastes heavenly. If a recipe does not turn out as expected, he keeps at it, researching and trying different ways, till it is perfect. 

I realized that it is not the new things that interest them, it is going back to the old things that gives them joy and happiness. He always was a good cook, but never had the time. Rarely, when Mom was not well, or on special demand he used to make his trademark dishes earlier. Now he kinda wants to take over the kitchen from Mom 😁, and she is more than happy to oblige. Whenever he visits me in Hyderabad, he does take over the kitchen. We always had a garden in our house, we all have green thumbs, but things like making terrariums and coco pits at home is now Dad’s area of expertise. And music? Well, it was kinda always there. I remember he used to play cassettes of Ramkumar Chattopadhyay’s Tappa at 6 am and it used to irritate the hell out of me and give him that much joy! Now he has the time and opportunity to go see live shows of his favorite musicians. 

It’s been 3 yrs since he retired. I believe the transition from hectic work schedule to post retirement laid back life is completed with ease. I am happy that I could figure out something to help him. It’s very important that our fathers and mothers slide into the post retirement life with ease, or else it can make some people cranky, or fill their heads with insecurities and make them unstable and sometimes ill. I have seen a few such cases of my relatives, where they could not settle in with ease or where their kids did not have time for them. It is very important that we have time for them, support them, hold their hands through this phase. My Mom loves that movie Baghban and I was so scared of not turning into those sons some day. That movie told me what not to do. 

This Father’s Day, I have made an apron for Dad and his reaction was, you finally turned me into a Chef! The official term made him happy I can see which means I get to eat some more amazing food😋. This post was supposed to be about Father’s Day, but writing about my Dad and our equation, is a book long thing. He is my hero, inspiration, someone who makes me laugh the hardest. He irritates me, irks me yet cannot stay a second without me. I need his opinion in everything. He has always had my back, been there for me. We bicker a lot and have secret jokes about everything. He is my best friend. I am his little naughty girl and he is “MY DADDY STRONGEST” Dad. I wanted to share this important phase of his life with you guys and urge you to support your parents emotionally and be present for them physically during this post retirement phase of their life. I am sure you already are doing your bit.  There is hardly ever another time when they need you more. Share your experiences and stories with me. 

To all the Dads out there, thank you for taking in all our pains and tantrums with a smile and giving us all the happiness we can ever imagine. We are because you are. Happy Father’s Day!!