Cosmopolitan!

While sipping through my cosmopolitan slowly, I am experiencing something which I never had before.  Like the picture suggests I am here in T. G. I. F.  You must be wondering who I am with.  Well, that’s the new surprise.  Tonight I am on a date with myself.  Yes!  You saw it right. I am all alone sitting in a table for one in a pub on a Friday night. No, I am not sad or lonely or in desperate need for a drink and no, my life is not going through any shit hole. In fact I have not been happier than right now for a long time of my life. And yes, everything and everyone else in my life is absolutely fine. The reason behind this totally crazy move (for some) is that I am fulfilling my fantasy of sitting in a bar alone and writing while a sexy cocktail waits on my wake. Yes! I have such fantasies also. Crazy, right?  But then you already know that about me.

So you must wonder how it feels.  Trust me when I tell you this, it feels really good. The music is great.  The environment is enticing.  And I don’t actually regret being alone. When I first entered this place, I was a bit skeptical. I was feeling a bit awkward and felt like this might be awful,  but even to my surprise this actually turned out to be a good idea. I am feeling so good about myself that I could take this step. It feels and tastes incredible. I am having fun. The waiters around me are paying attention and I don’t see any out of the ordinary feel in their eyes. I am swaying to the music just as I would have if I had someone with me.

Being alone in a pub actually opens a whole new perspective. It has made me more observant I believe.  I mean I would have never noticed so much about anyone else if I was with someone. And being observant is a very important thing for a writer, at least for a “wannabe” writer like me. There is a group of folks a few tables away who are laughing their heart out. Makes me wish I had my gang here with me.  But just next to them is a couple who are evidently not so comfortable with each other.  Then there is this group of 3 people out of which 2 people are definitely a couple and the third person is a pathetic loner whom this pair is trying to teach new ways of having fun in life: shots of tequila. I mean really!?!

The other thing is that while digging shamelessly through my sizzling brownie, I notice that there is no one that I have to be concerned about if I accidentally spill some caramel sauce around and I’m not so ladylike while devouring this ultimate desirable dessert lying right in front of me and seducing the duck out of me. Now I can give my undivided attention to my beloved delicious and hot brownie topped with a scoop of Vanilla ice cream and nuts and splash of hot chocolate sauce. But that is a love affair to be described in another chapter.

Today unknowingly I have given myself the chance to make a wish come true.  I had always wished to sit in a cozy corner of a cafe and keep on writing. But writing from a corner table in a pub? This was like something I never thought would be true.  I guess I played Santa to myself today.  I wonder if we have this Santa hidden among all of us who can do something to make such silly and stupid wishes come true. I believe sometimes you should just listen to that naughty little voice in your head which dares and baits you to think out of the box and take a wild step over the logical sane voice which urges you to just follow the herd and be the frog of the well and not do anything insane ever in your life. We all have these two or more voices of reason in our mind arguing with each other and deciding our course of action by judging or predicting the outcome. Yes, I have seen Inside Out!  LOL!  But jokes apart, it is a true fact.  And most often the voice with the seeming horns and a prickly tail loses to the one with the halo over its head and wings on its side. Not that it’s a bad thing on a regular basis, but occasionally the other voice also should get a chance.  Say on a Friday. And after a couple of sips of a Cosmopolitan, the halo voice will also start enjoying its sunshine with an umbrella overhead.

Now the question is why the whole idea of a girl going to a pub alone to just sit and enjoy her Cosmopolitan is such a big deal? First of all it’s a girl going into a pub alone, that’s the whole exclamatory thing and to be written in CAPS issue. Other than that, the second highlight is ALONE! Even if I ignore the gender discrimination here, we are so accustomed to company that we often forget that we also have an individual identity which sometimes is the requisite of time to be identified alone, on your own. Most of us are averse to the idea of doing any public or entertaining activity without a company. Even if they really want to do it they would wait for a company. And if you don’t get the desired company, things just get postponed. Simple! Here the only person at loss is you, because it was your thing that you wanted to do. And you had to wait or forget about it due to your incapability to enjoy yourself without someone else who, by the way, may not share your enthusiasm or interest. We are very speculative of being alone.  Being happy alone is a long shot for many people. Living alone is even further fetched dream. We are scared of being alone because we are scared of the thoughts that will go around in our mind if we are alone. It’s like all of those voices are talking out loud. And even more so with couple of Cosmopolitans down to soothe and ease out all inhibitions.

We are scared and ignorant of our own thoughts, which should not be the case. We should let each thought just pass by and at least be open to our own thoughts first. Let alone the world and society. Happiness does not come with company. It comes from inside you, with or without company. You need to love yourself to happy with yourself. Stop speculating so much about each step that you take. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and trust yourself to find the anchor when you see fit.

Taking out the so called “me time” is a very important part of each day.  It should be. And not necessarily should restrict to things you can do alone, but should be open to options which you want to do it explore with a company. Being social, or visiting social places alone just for enjoying your own company should be one of the “me-time” things for everyone. Guys, I am telling you, if you have not yet tried it, please do.  It’s exciting and frankly, liberating. It also helps you process and revisit your thoughts. It may even help you improve you coping mechanism for the daily struggle. And it does so many other things as well. But most importantly it makes you feel better about yourself, makes you happy. People who already have had such experiences should share your wisdom with others and encourage them to take that one step.

I was not so heroic in this stunt! I was a bit cynical about tonight.  Okay, a lot. But I had this amazing person on the other side of the phone who said to me if you really want to do something, you should do it. Don’t wait on others. It’s your thing. Just do it.  This price of advice is nothing new.  And frankly I had given such advice to my friends so many times, but when he said it, it really hit me hard and gave me enough courage not to chicken out at the last moment. So ya, friends and family and people who really care about you are very important in your life. You should never isolate yourself from them. But you should always find time to enjoy things that you like on your own. And it is important to enjoy the whole activity on your own. Later you will see that you have a great story to share with those loved people and something to write about and store away in a jar as a special memory. :) :)