Expectations- Do you or do you not expect to expect?

“Expectations are the root cause of heartache!” –William Shakespeare

 Like Shakespeare put it, no expectations meant no heartache. It is so true. Most of our problems in life are due to things which did not shape out as per our expectations. We wake up in the morning everyday and reflect about the upcoming day and the past night. Our day shapes up depending on these factors mostly. When things don’t go as planned or expected, it might cause us pain. 99% pain is caused because reality shaped out completely different from our expectation.

So what to do, how to stop expecting? That is not how human brain works. Human brain forms an image of every single thought that crosses our mind, of every signal we might have picked through our senses. That is how we perceive things. That’s nature. But when the image in our brain does not match the reality by greater percentages like say 50%+, we find it difficult to cope up with it. If reality is better, our brains are very easily adaptable. The problem obviously starts when reality is completely different or opposite of what you thought of, if it is worse than you thought. We also allow a given percentage of probability that it could go bad. But when it is out and far from that range, is when we find it hard to cope with. That’s when our day starts going not so good anymore. The person, who says you not to expect anything from him, also expects something from you. He tells you “please do not expect anything from me”. But he would be upset with you for not giving him a call the whole day, which he had expected from you. How ironic, isn’t it?

I wonder how this "no expectation" theory would work with our parents. Really! I mean if they don’t expect anything from their children, how would we ever succeed? It’s their setting of benchmark expectations that initially inspires us to try and achieve anything at all in life. If I tell my mom not to expect a call from me the whole day, I am inviting myself for a long day of emotional melodrama from her and a big time warning cum lecture from my dad. Ooh! That’s a scary thought I never wanna get close to! If I tell my parents not to expect anything from me then I would rather be dead before that thought crosses my mind. Of course they expect things from me. They did not toil so hard all their life to raise me for nothing. It is their right to expect things from me. And it is my duty to try and at least fulfill a few of those, if not all. My parents are way too cooler to be happy with just a few fulfillments! Expectation is an inevitable part of any relationship, of life. If I don’t go to my college friend’s marriage, he would murder me first with his boring emotional blackmailing dialogues (which he thinks works, but mostly people just agree to stop his whining) and then personally choke me with his bare hands whenever we meet next time, literally. Why? Because, he expects me to leave everything and go and attend his marriage unless I have a very good excuse of not attending, since that’s what good friends do. So yeah, just saying no expectations does not really work in this world. Not in my life any ways. Even if you say you don’t expect, you still hang on to that thin string. And that’s why you have a heartache, that’s why pain is so very inevitable in our life. That’s why you sit up awake at 4 am in the morning Googling quotes and writing about expectations. No, scratch that, that’s just weird old me being me.

So unless you learn how to stop expecting, be prepared to bear the pain that comes along with it. They are actually both sides of the same coin. And anyways, what is left in life without expectations? Yeah, when you help the poor, or do something for a child, or help the unknown, you do not expect anything back. But does it hold true for our loved ones? Do we have that strength to let go? That might take us close to Mother Teresa. She had that strength of loving and giving only, without expecting anything in return. But how many of us can even think going close to that? I am not ashamed of admitting that I do not possess that strength. I do not want to, actually. That would take out the fun from all of it totally! Come to think of it, the world would be so plain and boring. Yes, you would get surprises every now and then, because if you don’t expect anything, everything that happens, is a surprise. But if it happens very often, almost regularly, it may not be a surprise anymore. The excitement associated with being surprised may just wear out at some point. Don’t you think? And just imagine, if your company HR says, just do your job, do not expect a raise ever! Oh Boy! We would be kicking ourselves mentally over and over again, for even thinking of this quote. Surprises, even after expectations are fulfilled are a double bonus, and surprises with some unmet expectations, are blissful moments.

I guess, then, the little heartache is a welcome gift as we are never ever going to stop expecting. You better stop saying that. This cycle of expecting things and getting hurt if they are not met is kind of unbreakable. You will anyways have heartache as long as there is an element called "shock" or a thing called "accident" or "destiny" in this world. And that does not always have to be related to your thoughts and hopes. This kind of adds a spice to our, sometimes monotonous, lives, rather. Makes it happening and exciting. Don’t you think so?

Well, I absolutely refuse to give up expecting things. You better try and meet them or deal with the consequences! After all, what is life without a little drama?